its crazy when people say that its better to have love than not to have loved at all.. that's a load of crap.. you date and date until you find the perfect one right? but the things is there are people who are lucky and they immediately found that one person that they are right for, but what about people like us? peolpe who have to suffer dates after miserable dates.. its crazy because id rather not to have loved at all and be happy.. single is happy..because when you love someone you get weak.. you tend to lose yourself.. sometimes realtionships can be a manipulation of emotions. a rollercoaster.. or maybe im just bitter today.. hahaha..

quote of the day: Maybe this world is another planet's hell.--Aldous Huxley

mistakes..

dont dwell on your mistakes, learn from them..

somehow upon hearing those old age adage, i cant help but wonder how can that be? when all i can think is mistakes makes you realize wat you had, what you've lost, what you've taken for granted they make you realize that sometimes there are no next time, no more 2nd chances. And i cant help but dwell on my mistakes.. so what's with the rainting? i made a stupid mistake.. i think that i could have done better, but i didnt.. im being vague.. im not yet ready to say it outloud.. hmm.. maybe later.. hahaha... i need to go now=p

missing..

when someone you care about is so far from your reach.. l
ike say, my boyfriend who is miles away from me, you cant help but be overcome by a sudden sadness every now and then. a feeling you cant help but dwell on..and right now that what's im doing.. rigth now, my mind is remembering the late night talks we had.. i miss talking to him about everything, anything.. nothing.. it seems that i can never truly find someone to talk to like i did with him.. baring your soul.. your worst nighmares.. your dreams.. just about everything in my life.. i remember our secret codes thing only the two of us know.. i miss his scent.. i miss the way his eyes crinkles when he smiles...

missing someone sucks...

Unspoken feelings..

My sister got upset by my father and wrote this poem..

Beneath me lies a wounded soul,
where no one dare sees,
restricted to my own world,
by a strict hand, grasping me so tightly,
that i have no choice but to obey,
just a small whimper from me,
and i'll be crushed with resentful words,
so hurtful..
that i have become strong with bitterness

Dream Guy: empasized on dream please!

-A love letter once in a while.. (does poets still exist?)
-must make me special
-spoils me!! (hahaha....)
Listens and understand my needs (ahem sensitive guy..)
-suprises me once in a while..(awww.. thoughtful!)
-doesnt have any vices (no smoking please!)
makes me laugh
-doesnt lie!!!
-Patient..
-will go shopping with me=)

Why is it imprinted in everyone's mind that there's one person that is meant for us and that whoever that person is he/she must be perfect..
it bothers me, why do we have this concept on the perfect mate, your soulmate, destiny...

discalimer..??

i am a walking mistake. a failure by day and a diaapoitment by night, there's nothing that i do that can be right.. welcome to my nightmare. i have been living a facade. i can only fool myself for so long.. My life sucks. and your reading the rantings of a delusional person.. hahaha.. i have kept so many thoughts in my head, screaming inside i might as well say it outloud so i wont be a prisoner of my own mind anymore.. So that would be my discalimer.. Since every site has one.. hahaha.. This is the inner twisting or my demented mind..